BAD YEAR FOR BLONDES

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hellloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got really excited....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours....power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope
July -Lost breast-stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911.... ."duh"... .there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!
What a year!s