> > > THE DOG'S DIARY
> > >
> > > 7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
> > >
> > > Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
> >
> >
> > > 3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
> > >
> > > 11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
> > >
> > >
> > > THE CAT'S DIARY
> > >
> > > Day 183 of my captivity...
> > >
> > > My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
>objects.
> > > They dine
>lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
> > > The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
>mild
> > > satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
> > > another house plant.
> > >
> > > Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
>while
> > > they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top
> > > of the stairs.
> > >
> > > In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
> > > again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this
> > > on their bed.
> > >
> > > Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
> > > to make them aware of what I am
>capable of, and to try to strike fear
> > > into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
> > > little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
> > >
> > > There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
>in
> > > solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
> > > noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my
> > > confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
> > > "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
>advantage.
> > >
> > > I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
>The
> > > dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
> > >
>obviously a half-wit.
> > >
> > > The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks
>with
> > > them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
> > > current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can
> > > wait.
> > >
> > > It's only a matter of time.
Some thing for a little chuckle.