Thread: Can Be Told In Church

CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

################################################## ######### A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, Trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting Her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.
As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late .. But please don't shove me either!"

################################################## ########## Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, He calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, He calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, He calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

################################################## ########## An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They Wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.

################################################## ########## A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He answered "Call for backup."

############################################### A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

################################################## ########## At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him How Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, And she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

################################################## ########## Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad.

################################################## ########## You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!

Those are lol funny!

Thanks Neno, jokes can be clean and funny too.

Here one for ya...

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new church member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny...

He said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...

Walked home...

And left it there all night.

You Gotta love George.

God bless,
Dave

Glad to hear from you DocDave.

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