Thread: Darwin Awards

Darwin Awards
>>
>>
>>
>> 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
>> during
>> a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
>> something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
>> tried the
>> trigger again. This time it worked....
>>
>> And now, the honorable mentions:
>>
>> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>> machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
>> insurance
>> company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to
>> have a
>> look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The
>> chef's
>> claim was approved.
>>
>> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>> during a
>> blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
>> the
>> space. Understandably, he shot her.
>>
>> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
>> found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
>> from Harare
>> to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
>> driver
>> went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
>> ride. He
>> then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff
>> that
>> the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
>> deception
>> wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>>
>> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
>> wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
>> injuries,
>> the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could
>> get
>> his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>>
>> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>> counter,
>> and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
>> pulled a
>> gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
>> provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
>> $20 bill on
>> the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If
>> someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
>>
>> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>> he'd
>> just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
>> and
>> run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the
>> window.
>> The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
>> knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
>> plexiglas. The
>> whole event was caught on videotape.
>>
>> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>> grabbed
>> her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
>> able to
>> give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
>> police
>> apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
>> store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
>> for a
>> positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the
>> lady I
>> stole the purse from."
>>
>> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>> Burger
>> King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded
>> cash. The
>> clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
>> without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
>> they
>> weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>>
>> ***A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER***
>>
>> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
>> a
>> Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
>> at the
>> scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
>> spilled
>> sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
>> gasoline
>> and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
>> mistake.
>> The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was
>> the best
>> laugh he'd ever had.
>>
>> >>