Thread: Anger Management

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on
someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't
know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please
speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the
right number next time dummy!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe
that anyone could be so rude .

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had
accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her, I decided
to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
"You're a dorkface!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'dorkface' next to it, and put it in my
desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a 'dorkface!' It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'dorkface' calling would
have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John Smith from the
telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're a dorkface!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy
in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I
hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the *****
ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first dorkface (I had
his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW dorkface, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is." I
asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree
Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's
a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're a dorkface!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two dorkfaces to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called dorkface #1. He said, "Hello." I said,
"You're a dorkface!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I
said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who
are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I
said, "dorkface, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a
black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you
had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared,
dorkface," and hung up.

Then I called dorkface #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, dorkface," He
yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed,
"I'll kick your behind," I answered, "Well, dorkface, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34
Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in
Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time
to watch two dorkfaces beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop
cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

How did you know the second one didn't have caller ID?

Hi bbhawk, thats a fair question, but rather than me answering it, I would find it quite interesting to see what answer you come up with, let me know, and if you need a hint just let me know that also. Barbara