Thread: In Honor of Stupid People...

In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

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On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

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On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

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On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

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On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

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On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

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On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

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On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

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On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

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On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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Only the Best to All,
Sal

Originally Posted by SBZZY1

In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

************
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
The noise would wake you up! And your hair is always a mess when you wake up anyway, so why waste time?
************
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
It means that if the product expires anyone who collects it from the rubbish can still find a prize inside.
************
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
Refers to a soap with a regular soap-shape... unlike some other soap which you can find in sex shops having 'other' shapes
************
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
You can otherwise throw it in a liquidiser and take it as a slush!
************
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
Ooops you really got me there!
************
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
It's a guarantee that their microwave oven works.
************
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
But you can't eliminate wrinkles from clothes that way!
************
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
Ever heard of child labour?
************
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)
Means that it may cause drowsiness but not exacly sleep
************
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
As opposed to half inside, half outside!
************
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
It is well known that vibrating equipment is bought for other reasons. Ever wondered why there are more people smiling since the invention of the vibrating mobile phone?
(are you still sure you want help with THIS???)
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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
there may be some Sainsbury employees hiding in the bag (that would make them nuts)!!!
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
That's done so that you don't confuse the packets with vomit bags!
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On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
Those Chinese imitators have done it again!
The original & authentic is hard to come these days!
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On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Yes, stuntmen try that stuff out unless they see the warning!
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Only the Best to All,
Sal

Hope tha helped!