Thread: Doctor, doctor!

Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear,
"Give me £5! I'm desperate! I need £5!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee." The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need £10! Just £10! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need £20! Please lend me £20, please! I am really desperate!"

"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess. Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can say with some certainty.
"that your leg seems to be broke in three places."

Patient : Doctor, I think I'm a missle.
Doctor : Hmm.... tell me about this missle.
Patient : Look Doc, you don't want to get me all fired up!